Well what can I say about the absence of a blog, is it because words were not enough to describe the day's the weeks or my feelings, as they were all so bloody horrible, and there is enough of that slurping around everyones ankles, and an abyss that tapping away on this laptop could not have pulled me to safety.
Firstly my soul sister lost her battle to stay with us and grew her lovely wings, Cov 19 took its toll, and all manner of stuff was going on around me like nothing had changed for everyone else, and I couldn't deal with, and am not handling it, but day by day it will get better.
Well back in the saddle as they say life goes on as it does, as much as it can do. Trips that were booked and new adventures were cancelled to Spain and Croatia with Claire, then there was the funeral of Vivies that went ahead, and all the texts and messages and calls from people with condolences, and to give names of those that had to be sifted through that were able to attend, which in its self was a hard task for Rachel, but it was beautiful even though it broke my heart. Our anthem The whole of the moon was played at the end and I thought my heart would break .
BYE MY LOVELY MOON BEAM I LOOK AT YOU EVERY NIGHT AND IT HAS BEEN SO BRIGHT I CAN SEE YOUR SMILEY FACE. STAY BRIGHT
Claire has gone off to Croatia which again Viv and I were going, but she is having a lovely time so good on ya gal, keep the Thelma and Louise flag flying.
I was hoping to join my friend in Turkey but looks like that will be a no go.......COV 19 I bloody hate you with a vengeance. I have volunteered to be checked periodically to see how the virus behaves after contracting it. At the moment its left my lungs tight and I get breathless but will see in a couple of weeks how this goes.
Went around Vivs house to meet Rachel yesterday, pretty emotional going through her things, things she had bought when I had been with her, poor Rachel has to take over being the Lioness of the family but she will and she will do her mum proud.
Sylvia Marie and Rebekah will meet Rachel another day and each have been invited to take a momento as a keep sake, but this again will be hard, and knowing that when the house is sold there will be no pampering nights there, no Christmas wreath making sessions, and no nipping round at 5pm for Gin O'Clock Oh my friend I will miss you so much.
We sat round her table many an evening chattering putting the world to right, making plans past and future ones, pouring our hearts out but mainly laughing at all the daft things we had done. Too many to tell.
The funeral wake was held at our friends restaurant Lynroys and it was so nice but really sunny and hot, she got her sunbathing day for it anyway, and would like to think of her on that sunbed at Hisaronu beach. And now its just the tidying up of loose ends, is that what life is about I wonder ? loose ends my feel a little frayed at the edges at the moment.
Tuesday is here and return to work, they have been really supported throughout my 18 months of crap of death funerals and the Virus, so in a way its getting some normality back into my life, so today is hey ho I am back and yes was it excitement or was it fear of return but could not sleep. No change there but I'm on it OK YAH.
Will be doing visits tomorrow not sure how that's going to pan out. For all these months not able to work because I am vulnerable, but now when it looks as though it may kick off again its get in there roll ya sleeves up and get stuck in, you couldn't write a book and believe it LOL
Steves birthday today so popped his pressie round early in the morning,
We chatted later that evening but he was quite exhausted by the day of golf and beer. He was chatting about Andy making plans for a boys holidays . Think he is a bit hesitant to think or decide on things with Cov19, but me well if and when opportunities knock I am off Cov or not Cov, this last 18 months has robbed me of so many things that bugger it, no more is it going too that's a promise to myself because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
Just nipped to get my car valeted in my lunch break we get discount for nurses, its not been cleaned since the start of Tin Pan Ally, remember that, it seems a life time ago now. I had the bits of branches and foliage all in it from the clearing of garden and depositing it in friends brown garden waste, so pretty filthy.
They are quite an industrial lot and fast, not sure how they got planning permission but they did, no one speaks English so I flash my badge and toss the keys and walk over the grounds to my base.....They could be joy riding for all I know.
Everything revolves round where I work for my car. My trusty car Mechanic Lee is based there, Sylvia is just around the corner and the old smoking shelter of many years ago was there. Now its the little bridge over the stream where Zulf and I meet to discuss any skull drudgery that maybe occurring. Miss him and his banter, I miss banter full stop, not many can entertain me with this art, and believe me it is an art.
Zulf is having an house built in Kashmir, and this is definitely on my bucket list. He has invited all my friends as he seems to get on well with them all, so it better be a big house. After watching Joanna Lumley there last night has definitely confirmed I'm off.
YOU ALL COMING FOR THE RIDE
Not sure what I will be doing much now, no excitement at present, so back to my 2 plus 1 meet ups which are lovely and the friends are enjoyable but you can't beat any plans or arrangements made by your self and together with others, not the same as invites......
This bloody mask constantly round my neck at work is a bind not liking that either, just got my scrubs to wear on visits and yes its not flattering...LOL they don't do Masai design or any Haute Couture even settle for M&S and buy my own oh I do seem to be moaning a lot.
Took the cats to the vets today to get there check ups and to get their chips read, I am having new front and back doors and cat flap is needed, so off we went and they did behave but it was so hot waiting for them outside.
Have been invited out with some friends on Saturday, this will be the first Girls outing without my bessie.
The afternoon went well, and cocktails were on the menu, then later back to Maxwells. It was different without her but they are all lovely, then met up with Steve and all their partners later in the evening. Afterwards Steve ordered a chinki and had to run back to my place to take delivery, no way was I running in heels.
Sunday now and really was so hot last night in bed the worst yet, so have been pottering this morning, checked on the Sweet meadow roots that Ellen and I picked at Cromford Mill, I call it the Viv walk, the day I came to terms with her leaving us all behind, they seem to be doing ok so will pass a pot onto Ellen when a little more established.
Also on the garden inspection the seeds that we collected at Hisaronu, from Jeanies cat sanctuary, they have started to bloom which will be a constant reminder of our last holiday that was so perfect for all of us, so am hoping to pass onto Rebekah one of the plants so she also has a living keepsake of Viv and our last holiday.
Had a phone call from Marion today in Turkey, and she has fallen and fractured her Knee, not sure how long it will take to heal, so have said if she can recuperate here if she is able to fly.
Steve will be round about 7pm his usual Sunday evening time.Its Quiche Jacket potato and salad, only a light meal as its just too heavy for a roast. I am going to abstain from wine Gin and any kind of drink other than water tea or juice for this week, need to cleanse the body from the inside , so will finish on that note and retire to bed ready for Monday morning sunshine, oh and the nights are drawing in mmm dark nights are coming too soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment