Monday, 24 August 2020

Expectations on people, life and the future, I need a new manual

 



Not an avid blogger or a prolific one, sometimes if there is nothing to write about then its fine for me, no pressure to put on myself, life can do that for us all by its own means in different way's.

Have  been going along in my own little world, being me or perhaps at times didn't want to be me. We have all had those times haven't we well some of us have and  just keep ambling along.

 Had a funny week this week, certainly ups and downs, and for some reason letting the Im ok mask slip, I suppose I am in full sail as a ship flows when helping and feeling needed, is that selfish of me or sad I don't really know.

I had a Claire stay this weekend, she commented that I hadn't shown a lot of emotion in my last blog, think she is right, it was all about the same O same O, all about walking sometimes  not a lot about anything just a blog, don't mind the critique coming from someone that is so honest and open, who shares most things most of the time its really very refreshing to know someone like that.

And I have a new go too saying, not mine exactly only seen it or heard it but I like it........if you are brave own it,... if you are doubting your self, own it,,,,,,if you an asshole own that too and take it on the chin always.

I really think if I did show emotions the flood gates would be opened to a deluge of un burdening crap. Crap I have made all by my self and crap that others have bestowed on me. But you know you have to own it and smooth over it to make others feel good about themselves.

Any way back to whatever ........went out to Nottingham on Monday with my lovely friend Sylvia, it was nice to go for a change, masks on our chops and away we went on the bus. First time I had been on a bus since the beginning of the year, think that was to Leicester to my Cancer check up.

When we used to go for appointments during and after treatments we would go poorly shopping, I would treat myself to things to cheer the day up and make it a happy day. Sylvia would laugh as every time I would say another poorly present is deserved.

There was a Caribbean funny shop with a large West Indian Lady I would go to try on more hats to wear on my bald head, she would grab me and wiggle all these hats on my head Sylvia would be peeing her self. I didn't even want the hats it was just the fun this lady created for me. I wonder if her little business has survived. Oh I did buy her hats and never wore them, Still have some gave Viv some though when she lost her hair.



 Whilst in Nottingham we had a gorgeous meal at a restaurant that was Caluchos, its called Ecsulent, it was divine, would definitely recommend it to anyone. We had a lovely day it was nice to steal a few hours away some where we hadn't been in a long time.





Bought more masks, I have every colour even glam ones with diamonds, thanks to Natasha..... Vern also kindly dropped me some perspex shielding masks off to me will look like a space man lol but at least I can breathe.


Back at work Tuesday and do enjoy it and my work friends, not sure what I would be like without this outlet, I don't think I save my patients as much as they save me.

Then went out for a meal deal later in the week on Wednesday, think it was more of a consolation meal out, but hey ho thats ok we went to the Greyhound it was ok but not sure I would go again.

Suppose to be going for a meal Monday but not sure if I can make it now, got my wires crossed silly me.

It happens don't it folks we all do it, note to oneself. don't do it again.

Claire arrived Friday, we went out with Phil for his birthday a few of us and it was nice to be out feeling a bit like old time but not all could make it,  I will use Claire's  photo's didn't take any myself  so all will be hers that she took or another friends. Think she should have been a photographer impromptu ones she is good at. Not sure captures your soul or maybe she does, You see this blogging don't come natural to me, so never prepared for that quick snap with the camera. Hence the female ( David Baily) Claire, well done Claire you do capture everything and everyone at their best it must be a knack you own it girl.

 



   Saturday came, and we had a quick walk around the park not big but pretty  and then down into town then down by the canal, We doubled back as the Boat inn pub wasn't open and Claire liked it there, so walked further on toward the Sea Cadets base was nice walking that way. Unfortunately the bowl of chips we all fancied was not on the menu, as the relief landlord was not doing any meals, wonder what happened to the last one..?????? Cov19 casualty maybe.


 We then doubled back to the Boat inn, had a beer there and then carried on to the Ring O Bells, had a few there, then a long to Maxwells, seems a lot of pit stops were made on Saturday.

Maxwells was busy but managed to get a table then a few really good friends of mine joined us. These friends especially Vern, is a big softie, he see's right through me and I him. This session went on for some time, so this morning a little fragile to say the least.

Cooked Claire scrambled egg with smoked salmon before she left for Melton to see Phil and his mum and loaded her up with the wheelchair  and off she went. Well another short blog and that its folks. 

  

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