Yes its here again lock down blues or dance at home in your shoes, been doing a lot of that I miss dancing, not many places to go these days for a boogie, places to jig along too have long gone.
Somehow it doesn't feel as bad, because I'm feeling optimistic that we have to go through this and honestly if we can't be kind to one another after this then BOG OFF!!!!!!!!
Had myself a male dominated week of mingling, with my lovely kind and wonderful men mates. ( P.S do have girl friends too, but not many single ) and my cooking does have a bit of an edge instead of eating on your own.
Steve, the ever kind my soul friend, Andy ( AKA) Mossie, the cooking demon, and Vern the gentle giant but toughest of men you would want always have your back, but will open his heart when the need too, so a lucky girl am I.
Monday
Firstly Andy invited me out to the meal deal for two at Maxwells not bad, he had megga stack boy that man can eat. I had bumped into his lovely dad the other evening, I was having a bit of a day, not good. I had gone round Viv's house just because I felt the need to be there.
I knocked on her door just in case Mark her son was there, he was and asked me in.
Although the furniture is still there as Rachael has left it furnished for prospective buyers, most of her personnel effects were gone. Her soul had left, and left me behind and I again felt broken, it was the anniversary also of Mels funeral, so all was about reflection over the last couple of weeks.
I chatted to Mark who at this point has no plans, he is considering renting so I suggested renting abroad like Claire, and possibly get some work teaching English to students or relocation people. He said it was a thought so who knows he may drop into Claire's on route.
Anyway digressing again, Mossie's dad caught me as I was passing back from Viv's and asked how I was.
I kinda was bluffing it until he said the sweetest thing and said you are always looking out for others as I had phoned Val his wife to reassure her about her op which went well. He said who is looking out for you, and that was it,....the lip went but I kept the tears to a minimal droplets. He gave me a hug which Keith is being very careful shielding Val, and I went on my way.
So Monday a knock on my window it was mossie, saying get your coat on I'm taking you out, so off we went for an abundance of meal deals for the next week or so. He can be arsie, but he has a memory like me forgets nothing and remembers how I helped him through some bad times, plus I think his Dad had given him a nudge.
Later that night he said I promised you if you needed to go out and about I will be there to take you, well we always have laughs chat and humour so never get down again, ( Thankyou for that.)
Tuesday and back at work and my other wonderful friend Zulf appeared at work after being away for so long, that was a bonus. He too is a helper of souls and trust me friends if you are one you become a sponge and every now and then you have to squeeze it to gain some of yourself back, but if you are one its because you choose to be you can't fake it.
The evening again was eat out with Mossie, and another nice night, so I was feeling foodied up if that's a word, and no sign of diet in sight, although we had a healthy hot roasted veg salad and chicken.
WEDNESDAY
Work again and a Zoom meeting I had done loads of training over the last few weeks so Zoom is the last thing I need, Ollie one of my Psychiatric consultants I work with had emailed to say he was again shielding, the next thing team leader shouted to me to come in the office to say sorry Yvonne don't come into work for a month can you work from home. Well I can but its not the same being in touch personally.
I know folks, because I think I have overcome tremendous times of fight or flight and struggles, I fortunately had the will power and mental strength to get through, but I have struggled so I feel their pain and others too.
If you have never felt that feeling of hopelessness, you are either lucky or I don't know.?????? what do I know only I would not want to be without empathy, sometimes called interference, control, nosey or just plane in your face, but I own it so there if you need me friends I'm there for you.
Wednesday, and out again with Steve for the meal deal. the night before he had been denied bubble entrance, WTF some like to play god, so he had gone home, but we were in there for our cheapy no probs.
Steve's meal was good Megga mixed grill few thing missing guess stocks not replenished because of closing, mine was a bit gross, crispie beef that had been done to death not nice, I had treated Steve as a little thankyou, certainly not enough for what he has done but can only offer treats and other measures of gratitude for his ever helping hand that he knows I am eternally grateful and would never get by without his help.
Thursday
Well it was the Black toe gang evening, Me Steve and Verns, fine dinning night so folks my whole week revolved round men and meals, hence the heading. Black toe relays to Steve and his never ending big toe accidents, first Mels scooter dropping on it in Spain. Then a long walk we did in his new shoes 15k and bruising it again, he wont let me pull it off the wimp lol.
We all meet up and cook a meal at each others homes, and generally have a good time drinking and usually this goes on until the early hours, last time 3 am in the morning, Thursday was a little earlier about 12.30 as Vern was working the next day. Steve and me carried on for another couple of hours.
The boys loved the meal I had dished up, starters was salmon and king prawns on skewers, in chilli and lime juice , Main was Lasagne which have to say is smack your lips meal, then twisted filo pasty with raisins soaked in brandy with chopped apple cream with strawberry.
The cheeky buggers said I had hired a chef...trust me I love cooking its therapeutic, ok when Steve popped round in the day I was covered in flour and all manor of ingredients but its fun so no matter.
Today sent Claire a photo of our dull morning of autumn mist and dank leaves and foliage that looks messy. I have a gardener to help once a month to help, as the garden is too much for me to weed now, buying a bigger plot in your twenties is cool but it bites your bum in you later years, when the garden was like Alton Towers with play tents, skate board humps, but now how I would welcome a postage stamp or a window box.
Saturday, nipped to Home bargains cat food and a Christmas door hanging to put up soon, sooner than other years as we need to be hopeful and believe things will get back to even better days, not financially, but humanely . May the good angels watching over us grant us that, as I believe in angels, too many special people up there that were my angels.
Sylvia nipped round as are interpretation of our own version of bubble, Sylv Steve Me as we are on our own and are careful so yeah are we breaking the law yes but sanity prevails, Steve would disagree he don't mind the lonesome( wanna be on meee own) this was mossie's anthem for Steve, lol. Good on him but me ! people are the spice of life, and although my cooking is not hot spice its flavour of all sorts just like friends and people.
The Bingo Night commenced thanks for Dan the bingo man he is a star keeping us in the land of fun and every ones spirits up, bring it on keep us laughing Dan.
Sunday, and another dull day, but have been busy burning and chopping my lavender bush that the gardener had cut back, my it has had a scalping, but getting rid of the roots and branches is a job and a half.
Nik called to light the wood burner yesterday, he loved bonfires as a child, that much we took extra fire insurance out, but the wood was too new so smoked a lot, so cleaned out burner and bagged the debris up this morning and smuggled into my bin as the garden waste bin is full.
Must admit as it was burning the air was full of the scent of lavender so hope no one disliked the burst of smoke billowing out.
Sunday
Its Dull Dull Dull Dull. So my activity today is not much, have much to do in the next week, as my lovely friend is arriving back from Turkey to stay with me for a month or so, fingers crossed they don't cancel her flight. So freezer being used up over the next few days, and Venison medallions is for dinner today.
So red wine is needed and a bit of cranberry sauce to flavour and marinate, Steve is up for the menu, we will see how it turns out and which recipe I will adapt and massacre. LOL
Oh whilst blogging watching Alled Jones in Brecon Beacons, for remembrance Sunday, my maternal family all live in Wales and as a child Sylv and me would go camping, with the youth club where the SAS train, to Wales in the Black mountains there.
Camping for a week riding horses over the Black Mountains pitching our tents for the night, then canoeing for a week down the River Wye, my we were tough kids, makes me smile thinking about it. Bet the kids of today would shudder at digging latrines to pooh and pee in, but gave me an understanding at an early age we all need help and people to survive times.
Well will start my make shift mackle up menu folks enjoy your Sunday keep positive and smile.
TUESDAY AND ITS GOOD NEWS WEEK
OH GLORY GLORY GLORY is there going to be hope for us all, the Vaccine is this what we needed, well my optimistic and positive thinking is in overdrive now, and I SMILE xxxxxxxx
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