Well I suppose the rain, it had to come some day this day and any kind of day, lets not hope not everyday and make some sad days we have had enough so sod off rain. The weather has been so kind to us in these funny mad times .We have had lovely days to help us cope and waking up and smelling the coffee, by walking and just seeing all from the pavements not the car window. Not walked as much these last days, was walking mostly every day, so must get back into that, maybe walking not so much isolated places but street side, because if walking on your own I prefer maybe walking down the streets or roads that I haven't maybe walked down since a teenager.
Not a lot to tell you peeps, been working from home last few days, contacting my precious patients keeping in touch. Some are ok and some just hanging in there. I suppose like us all you don't have to be mentally frail, we all in some ways have touched on the side of loneliness, depression, anxiety, at times madness......you were lucky if this did not affect you and you had this time to share with someone, I have had contacts with Viv keeping an eye on her but not being much help as she has slept alot.....people who did buckle or crack and are bottling it up, are more likely to suffer after all this.
I have tried to speak as I have said before on the phone instead of text, I know its helped me to hear voices, and because some were texting me and I hadn't answered all day were ringing around to check I was ok, that kinda pulled me out of a bit of a decline in my well being to know people friends family care so have tried this week to take stock and hopefully I am back on track.
My friends that have partners try to understand but unless you are on your own don't really get it, a few single friends do and I think we are trying to support one another, I struggle because being a hugger, and a person who takes pleasure out of helping, organising, and maybe interfering......but in a kind way, I am finding it difficult in this role not being that person, I don't even know this role I am in at present, I have had so long having to think about my day and schedule as a carer, that with this situation its alien, just being on my own.
I like to think that's normal behaviour my role of the modern day local do gooder, but when we crack it reminds us that we are all human, and need to be kinder and more understanding, I thought I was, but even I have been reminded to try harder to connect and what I think I've always done, endorses to keep doing and believe in mingling and what I say, strangers are just friends we have yet to meet, oh and yes I hope you will all try this and let strangers become your new friends you never know when you will need that one friend.
I will promise if you enter the world of mingling its divine and I only know kind people or nutters , oh well diversity all the way, no bank balance's, titles, or up your own arse, have no place in my liquorice box of all sorts friends trust me when you are a member you will feel blessed and feel part of a happy family, you know the old saying sisters from a different mister, brothers from a different mother is true, especially in these awful disturbed time, I am not against any race, there is none we are all the human race a very dear friend of mine said I see no colour when his family questioned why he would want to marry a white woman, he replied I see no colour I see a woman I love.....Well said H end of.
Zulf my friend and boss ( well he thinks he is my boss) arrived with a bloody 2ft Gnome to cheer me up, well I ask you.... Mrs Bucket is not amused it is sweet though and such a nice gesture to cheer me and bring a smile to my face. While he was there Steve had popped round to bang in some wood path edgings so a couple of cool beers was had in the sunshine in the garden safe distance. I had cooked a lovely chicken in red wine and new potato's but Steve had already done dinner and Zulf had just shown up, if I had known would have done his favourite Salmon, but he didn't let me know. Love cooking gives me so much pleasure and so he had to settle for a cheesy roll from Morrison. He is on the travel bucket list to Kashmir, to his house that is being built.
Took a walk down B&M for bits but there was a queue and it had started to drizzle quite fast so headed back, jumped in the car and went to Morrison to fetch a few bits thought I would do a spicy sausage and choritzo potato Bravas dish, Mossie had given me some sausage that we had bought from my butchers, paprika and sundried sausages so yes off doing my cooking bit for appreciated food lovers, yes am happy, and he totally loved it cheeky bugger said I had got the fine dinning recipes back, cus some how I had gone off piste well back on it .
Well Wednesdays dish went down well and I was back on the scale of yes the cooking club is not dead. So pleased as I have missed this so much this past year. I think this stemmed from the in prompt u event on Sunday that a friend saw me struggling and reached out, I suppose cus over the years I have been there for him in his dark days, so okay lets get it all out there and bugger them that stand on the side lines. Sometimes we need a person who is flawed vulnerable and not exactly acts o fey but these people are those that recognise someone crumbling because they have looked in the same mirror, so thank you.
Well two glasses of red wine from the stash and think I will sign off for tonight, because tomoz is another day and who knows a new beginning, or just another sneaky trip to B&M or the range ...
Took a cheeky walk or car run to town on Thursday, parked at the Range and walked the rest of the way into town roads not too busy but building up. Took Viv's glasses to Spec savers she had broken the arm and her other glasses were rubbing her ears bless her, I know the manager Nadine and she got it sorted with a new frame and lenses fitted all with in 20 mins, while I was there sorted an appointment for Steve because he wouldn't, tried to persuade him get Varifoculs, we all know how vane he is, sorry Steve but you know it bless him I do tease him, so that's sorted for him.
Got home sat in garden had a cuppa and then settled in for Friday night saga's, Steve Sylv and myself are really glued to Geoffs antics nasty man but its a fact it happens sad though. Enough of soaps have enough drama's in my life.
No Bingo peeps so our Saturday night is a little flat, but have an invite to a Steve's for a curry, nipped round Viv's still struggling but keeping her upbeat to plans we are hoping to do this year, we had on our agenda I think I said, was Santarino, Geneva, Naples, Croatia, and Barre in Italy, all staying with friends, Fabiana, Roberta, and then Marmaris to Marions, Oh we will do it I know we will. Hopefully Marion will be able to fly in soon, and also Claire whom we will be doing a search around Spain for somewhere to buy, she hopes she can come and visit soon.
Sunday comes round so quick, up and showered, a quick nip to Morrisons, for a few bits. Doing Lamb and colcannon mash with roasts and yorkies mint gravy, got Steve to do it one night when he was having friends over for a meal, he didn't believe that it was a proper dish, till his friends said they had eaten it before, yea have little faith Steve. Any way old fashioned jelly creme fresh and strawberries for pud. Yes and repaying my curry night with Sunday din dins.
Nipped to Viv's earlier on and Rachael her daughter was there . Viv hasn't eaten properly for over a week, and is so frail, while there she spoke to the hospital so will be going in to maybe intravenously be fed, I have told her to hang on to the picture of us at Honasura beach in Marmaris and think sunshine and waves and warm sunny evenings, will know later what is happening. If I could take away her pain I would so she could get better, I joked with her as there is something to be said about being over weight you have reserves to fall back on, so she has to think FAT.
Sorry if this blog has not been upbeat but will try harder and be back to stupid things........ I never thought I would say this but I miss TIN PAN ALLEY involvements even though its left me with a bloody bad back.
Oh by the way Woody does not like me ignoring him he wants his own Blog
No comments:
Post a Comment